Joyful

Last night I did the nasty cry, over the phone, and poor Jace had to hear every sniffle in my sob. Last night I was fed up with law school. I hate the transition back into the semester and have a mini-breakdown each semester. I also had a breakdown in July, which has become an annual thing. July to me means that summer is almost over and school will start back up. When school starts back up it means we have to go weeks and weeks without seeing one another. I realize I have these tantrums and I am not happy about it. It takes me about a solid day to get over them and sweet Jace just listens to me and lets me get it all out. I will regain my humor and happy go lucky self soon but for the time being I will most likely be a complete pill and be in a bad mood.

The breakdown occurs for many reasons. I get tired of being apart. I get tired of Jace living in the library or as Andrew Smith calls it, "Jace's perch". I get tired of Jace being under pressure. I get tired of not having fun with my best friend. I get tired of seeing people post pictures of themselves on Facebook having fun with their friends. I get tired of seeing couples around campus. See, I just get mad at everyone and everything. It is no one's fault. It is just me being jealous, a little bored, a little lonely, and a pinch of sadness.

However, my spirits were lifted today when I read "tis so Sweet". I don't know Megan or Russ but I have followed their adoption story. Megan is a standout Christian and really motivated me today. Her post was on being joyful even when we don't feel like it. Well last night I didn't feel joyful at all. However, after reading her post today I realized I should be joyful that Jace is in law school. I should be joyful that I have a fiance that lets me cry and just listens. I should be joyful that I have found the one whom my souls loves (Song of Solomon 3:4). I should be joyful because in 9 short months, all of this stress will decrease.

What are you joyful for today?