10 weeks

This morning my devotional addressed relationships. We need to establish relationships (friendships, personal relationships, work relationships, etc) that build up our faith. We don't need to concern ourselves with people that will bring us down and hold us back from our relationship with Jesus. After reading the devotional I called Jace and told him that today's reading. I feel as though both Jace and I encourage one another in our faith and yet it is this relationship, our relationship, that we rarely get to experience.

This is week 10 of not seeing one another. 10 weeks of not experiencing a loving embrace, a sweet kiss, his hand in mine, sharing of a meal, the relief your loved one provides at the end of a long day, etc. Jace and I know that we only have 5 months left of having a long distance relationship. However, these past ten weeks have been trying for us and our relationship. There have been some extreme highs and some deep lows these past ten weeks. Obviously the highest high was being accepted into UF. However, with that acceptance has come numerous decisions. Decisions that affect the other person and ones we have to make 10 hours apart. I am not going to lie or sugarcoat anything, things have been hard for us. Making these decisions apart while trying the best that we can without physically being together has been difficult on us and our relationship.

Jace and I are just like any other couple and we have arguments and bicker. We are not perfect and don't claim to be. As sad as this sounds, we both forget what it is like to be with one another. We forget what it is like to be with the other because we go so long without seeing one another. We literally fall in love all over again when we do see one another because we remember why we love each other. We remember how much fun we have, we remember how easily we laugh together, and knowing the other is close puts us on Cloud 9.

We are so tired of the distance. We are so tired of being apart. No relationship should be like this. We acknowledge the fact that God wanted us to achieve our personal goals before he wanted us to come together as a couple. Lord knows Jace has achieved quite a bit in our relationship and we feel like all of this has been God's will. But we have been at a place in our relationship where it is TIME to be together. We need to be husband and wife. We are ready and have been for quite some time.

Before I see Jace, I literally fall apart. It always seems work is super crazy and I know I need a break. I always seem to be maxed out on all levels and my batteries need to be recharged. Jace provides the energy for me to keep going. We have a joke in our relationship that we have to be soldiers. We have to be soldier strong when we are apart. We have to hold it together and battle through each day that we aren't together. However, I start falling apart at the seams right before I see Jace. I get tired of being strong. I get tired of having to keep it together. I get tired of being strong because I know I don't have to be when I am with Jace. I can just be me. I am ready to relax. I am ready to take a break. I am ready to have my best friend with me.

I say all of this because I get to see Jace on Friday. Right before we see one another we can't see straight. It is hard to focus because all we do is think about getting to the other one. I am taking vacation days on Friday and Monday and for this weekend we will make time stop. Email will wait. The world will shut down. We need this time to reconnect as a couple and remember the reasons we fell in love with one another. Those feelings come rushing back the second we embrace.

Maybe this post is a pity party because it is not fair what we have to go through. However, I wouldn't go through it with anyone else. Is Jace worth the wait? ABSOLUTELY. We can't wait until August 3rd when we no longer buy plane tickets and wipe out savings accounts to see one another. I can't wait for the day that I see him with bed head in the mornings and get to see him come home from a stressful day at school.

Sometimes I worry that my blog is just about the happy things in life. I think of myself as a happy person and an optimist however, life isn't always rainbows and butterflies. As bad as these ten weeks have been, I want to remember them. I want to remember the pain, frustration, loneliness, sadness, and yearning to be with him because it is through those feelings that we feel appreciation, gratefulness, admiration, and a deep, unwavering commitment to one another. We both understand that marriage will have its good and bad days. We have good and bad days now. Yet, at the end of the day we have such a deep and rooted love for one another that we know we can survive anything. We know we can survive because we have already gone through so much together in almost 8 years.

So here is to this weekend! We have plenty on the wedding to-do list to tackle. We are going on a date Saturday night. Simply put, we get to be a real life, in the flesh, couple. Excited doesn't even begin to describe how we feel. I will be sure to let you know how our weekend goes!