A Long Distance Relationship's Up and Downs

I knew I was going to marry Jace Stamper when I was a sophomore in college. Our relationship is different than most in the fact that we have never been together for longer than a summer. Jace went to Murray State for his Bachelor's and Master's degree and I followed my dreams of being a Wildcat. Weekend trips home, summer, and Christmas breaks are our only time to be a couple. I can't tell you how many times I have traveled the Bluegrass, the Western Kentucky, I-24, and the Purchase Parkways. He has done the same.Thank God we are both AT & T customers because if not our mothers would have killed us over phone bills. We Skype regularly and it means the world to me to actually see him. It is surprising how quickly you forget how someone looks. I know the feeling too well.

Jace and I knew our path would be different than most couples early on in our relationship. Jace has a God-given gift of being able to interpret law, understand it, and more importantly communicate it to clients. He is patient, considerate, and has his client's best interest at heart at all times. After being accepted into Mississippi College School of Law, I knew our relationship would be put through the ultimate test. We had survived the four hour distance between us during my undergrad career but could we survive a 10 hour, multiple states kind of distance? A distance conquered by buying plane tickets and rushing to make connection flights.

Well we have! We are stronger now than ever before but I don't write this to boast or to make you believe we have a perfect relationship. Law school has tested me emotionally just as it tests Jace mentally. I wish I could say I have gone through the transition from his Master's career to law school with grace. I can't. I struggle. I cry. I get lonely. I miss my best friend.

Every semester is a new transition for me and for him. He has a new set of classes and I have to get back into the mindset of  him being busy with school. You would think that after 7 years and 14 semesters together, the distance and time apart would get easier at some point. It doesn't. It gets worse.

When Jace is in school the amount of time we can "be" together reduces greatly. This is a typical day in our relationship: There is a morning phone call on the way to work/school. Emails, if work is not too crazy for the both of us, flow constantly throughout the day. There is a 10 minute phone call on the way home from school/work. Every night I interrupt his dinner and we try to Skype. Depending on the night, we may talk on Skype any where from 10 to 30 minutes. Usually at 10 PM, Jace calls to wish me good night and tells me he is still working away on his latest assignment or reading. Sometime in the night after I have been in bed, he calls again. This is the last phone call of the day and sadly, I never remember it. This phone call reassures me that he is safe and is on his way home from the library. There have been many nights, probably at least once a week, where I wake up in a panic. Did he call? I don't remember our conversation.What time is it? My fears are gone after I check my phone and realize he did call but I was so asleep that I don't remember talking to him. The process begins all over again the next day. Needless to say, I live for Saturday mornings because we are both not running out of the door.

For the past two weeks I have struggled being away from him. We both celebrated our birthdays during these past two weeks and it would have been nice to celebrate with one another. But it is not the birthday celebrations that I miss the most. It is the hand holding, the hugs, the kiss goodbye and hello. It is the smile he gives that melts my heart. It is the dinners we don't get to share together. It is the laughs that I don't get to hear. It is the end of the day conversations that make you thankful that you get to spend this life with someone who loves you. The worst for me is seeing another couple get to do these things with one another. I get jealous. I want the time they get to spend with one another.

The one thing that keeps me going is Jace. He is worth the distance. He is worth $400 plane tickets. He is worth it and so is our relationship. When we do get to see one another, the time goes by too quickly but the feeling that comes over me when we are together is like no other feeling I have ever experienced before. It is a feeling of wholeness. Sheer bliss. Peace. Excitement. Contentment. Those feelings are priceless. We trust in God's plans for us and have no idea of where or what the future holds. Each day we choose to be faithful and in love with one another. We choose every day to be strong and committed to this relationship. It is hard being strong all the time. It is hard knowing that there is school left to complete and that distance will remain. I try to stay positive. Some days are better than others. I am strong some days and a complete mess on others. But as the old saying goes, absence makes the heart grow fonder. With Jace and I, we have plenty of absence so I guess that only means one thing...we have a lot of love to give!

                                         New Year's 2011